Fifty Shades of Grey

And Now, the Official Line (Because Legal Said We Have To):

Enjoy the Fifty Shades experience with the Official Pleasure Collection — developed by E.L. James herself, the woman who turned fanfiction into a global sexual rebrand. Each toy is beautifully packaged, discreet, and couple-friendly — safe enough for your first rodeo and classy enough to leave on the nightstand without terrifying the babysitter. Every item is body-safe, phthalate-free, and comes with a satin storage bag for when the in-laws show up unannounced.

“This range is what I always imagined while I was writing Fifty Shades of Grey,” says E.L. James.
We believe her — and we’re both impressed and a little concerned.

We didn’t write the books, we just sell the merch. Don’t cancel us.