Lord Neptune Vibrating Silicone Grinder

LOOK WHAT WASHED ASHORE.

And against all better judgment, we’re keeping it.

The Lord Neptune Vibrating Silicone Grinder is what happens when a fantasy dildo, a ride-on toy and something discovered clinging to the underside of a research vessel become roommates. The THICK 6.2" silicone body is covered in thick ridges and bumps, while a removable bullet buried in the base sends 3 speeds and 7 vibration patterns through the whole bizarre marine specimen.

And yes, we cleaned the seaweed off first.

The adjustable strap stretches from 12" to a whopping 52", so you can secure it to a thigh, pillow, or sturdy piece of furniture and turn the whole thing into a hands-free ride-on grinder. Strap it to your thigh and show her what’s kraken. Strap it to a pillow and embark on your own Poseidon Adventure. Strap it to the furniture and...maybe put a towel down. 

A wireless remote puts all 10 vibration settings within reach, whether you’re flying solo or handing over the controls. Because that’s not a trident in your pocket. It’s the remote.

Key Features:
This grinder brings all the sirens to the yard with 3 speeds & 7 vibration patterns
Removable vibrating bullet + wireless remote control
Adjustable 12"–52" strap mounts to a thigh, pillow or furniture
Premium silicone + neoprene strap; IPX6 water-resistant
Overall Size: 6.2" L x 3.1" W x 3.9" D
Insertable Length: 5.3" | Maximum Diameter: 2"
Materials: Premium Silicone, Neoprene & ABS Plastic

Before & After the Afterglow:

Lord Neptune is a creature of the sea. For the love of Jacques Cousteau, do not send it in dry. Use plenty of water-based lube. This thing was built for wet conditions. Respect its natural habitat.

After play, wash the silicone surface with warm water and mild soap or your favorite toy cleaner, wipe down the strap, and let everything dry completely before storing. It’s rated IPX6 water-resistant, so cleanup is easy.

XR Brands

Since 2007, XR Brands has created award-winning, internationally acclaimed pleasure products built for every interest and intensity level. Drawing on deep expertise in fetish, BDSM, and the science of sensation, XR designs bold, body-safe toys meant to play as hard as you do — from start to finish.