Plushie The Emotional Support Dick™

BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU JUST WANT THE DICK.
Not the man. Not the attitude. Just the comfort.

Meet the Plushie The Emotional Support Dick™  — a soft, smiling, aggressively harmless companion for people who want the vibe without the baggage.

He doesn’t ghost. He doesn’t talk during movies. He doesn’t ask questions, overstay his welcome, or emotionally spiral at 1:30 a.m. He’s just here to be cute, cuddly, and emotionally neutral.

Made from ultra-soft plush fabric with a sweet, non-threatening smile, this penis plush is designed to make you laugh, keep you company, and sit quietly on your bed, judging no one. It’s the least complicated relationship you’ll ever have.

Why You Want It

All the comfort, none of the emotional labor

Perfect cuddle object with zero expectations

Ideal gag gift for people with a sense of humor and strong boundaries

Makes an unforgettable conversation piece for bedrooms, couches, and dorms

Sizes

Small
5.91" x 9.84" x 11.81"
Cute, giftable, and easy to explain (kind of)

Large
8.7" x 17.72" x 19.69"
For full-body cuddling, bold statements, and emotional support with presence

Materials & Details

Super-soft plush made from cotton and polyester

Squishy, cuddly, and designed strictly for laughs and comfort

Decorative novelty item — not a sex toy, not anatomically ambitious

Smiles politely and asks nothing of you

Important Note
This plush is intended for hugging, displaying, and laughing at. It will not text you back, but it will also never disappoint you.