Strap-On School Is in Session — Take a Seat, Babe.

Whether you're queer, straight, trans, curious, seasoned, shy, bold, or “strap-on curious but terrified,” welcome. This is the internet’s least judgmental, most useful, actually-written-by-someone-who’s-used-a-harness guide to strap-ons, pegging, harnesses, dildos, technique, communication, and how to make it all feel ridiculously good. No shame. No weird vibes. And definitely no “10 Strap-Ons You Need RIGHT NOW” listicles written by a 23-year-old intern who's never held a dildo. (BuzzFeed, Sweetie… we’re looking at you.)

Strap-ons are not niche, taboo, or specifically for “advanced play.”

They’re for:

lesbians
nonbinary folks
straight couples
trans partners
ED warriors
curious millennials
adventurous boomers
anyone who wants pleasure and power in a new configuration.

And yes — there is absolutely a “right way” to do it.
(And we’re about to teach it.)

🔥 STRAP-ON TECHNIQUE 101

How to Use It, Rock It, and Not Accidentally Windshield-Wiper Your Partner

**1. The Arm-Thrusting Mistake

(Especially for People With Vaginas — Yes, This Means You)**

If you were born with a penis, feel free to go play with it for a moment — this section isn’t really for you.
(We’ll call you back when we’re done teaching Thrusting 101.)

Everyone else?

Here’s the secret truth: People with vaginas often have zero pelvic-thrust muscle memory — probably because instead of teaching us how our hips actually work, society handed us purity rings and warned that pleasure would ruin our lives before marriage.

So what happens?

Most women grab their partner’s hips…and start “thrusting” with their arms, like they’re trying to push a stalled Honda Civic.

This leads to:

bad angles
shallow strokes
tired shoulders
dildo pop-outs
awkwardness
partners wondering “why does this feel like polite nudging?”

Why It Happens

Cis guys spend a lifetime accidentally learning to thrust:

grinding
masturbating
dry-humping furniture
teenage chaos
instinctive “hips = pleasure” wiring

People with vaginas?
No matching training montage.

The Fix

Let your pelvis be the engine.

Your ARMS stabilize.
Your HIPS thrust.

Cues that work:

Pretend you’re slowly grinding on someone’s thigh — THAT’S the motion.
f your shoulders hurt, you’re doing it wrong.
“Your hips should roll, not your elbows.

Once you shift the movement into your pelvis, thrusting becomes smoother, deeper, sexier, and infinitely easier.

2. Where the Harness Should Sit

The sweet spot?

Just above your pubic bone.

Too high = T-Rex thrusting.
Too low = dildo pop-out city.

Right spot = leverage + angle + rhythm.

3. How Tight Should the Harness Be?

Here’s the Tabu truth:

Harnesses ALWAYS loosen during thrusting.
Heat + motion + friction = slippage.

So tighten one notch tighter than you think you need. Not corset-tight — just secure enough to trust during hard thrusting or longer sessions.

4. How to Know What Your Partner Wants

You can’t feel the dildo — so listen to:

breath
moans
tension
hips moving toward or away from you

Sexy check-ins that keep the mood hot:

“Want it deeper?”
“Slower or faster?”
“Guide me with your hips.”
“Tell me when you want more.”

Small words. Huge payoff.

5. Pegging Technique (The Essential PSA)

The anus is:

delicate
slow to open
extremely nerve-dense
prone to bruising
especially sensitive in first-timers (especially men)

Rule #1:
GO. SLOW. FIRST.

Let the sphincter relax.
Let the nervous system chill.
Let the prostate warm up.

🍑 POUR. ON. THE. LUBE.

There is zero natural lubrication back there — none — so here’s a slippery little jingle for you to hum along and remember.

If it don’t glide?
ADD MORE.

If it’s giving “squeak,” not “slide”?
ADD MORE.

Even if it’s wet?
ADD MORE.

Even if you’re slick with regret?
ADD MORE.

DO Use:

hybrid or water-based lubes with toys
cushiony formulas
generous amounts

Anal play without enough lube = roller-skating on gravel. We don’t do that here.

If Your Male Partner Is New (or Nervous)

Communication can be difficult. He may:

go quiet
feel shy
worry about liking it “too much”
freeze
feel pressure even while receiving

Your tone shapes the experience. Try phrases like:

“You’re doing great.”
“Tell me when you want more.”
“Do you want it deeper?”
“No rush — relax into it.”

Normalize it.
Ease him in.
Validation = arousal.

6. Harness Styles (And Why They Matter)

Jock-Style Harnesses

The MVP. Great for:

stability
bigger toys
pegging
long sessions
plus-size comfort
beginners needing support

Panty/Bikini-Style Harnesses

Great for:

small toys
slow grindy sex
wearing under clothes
discreet play
packing

Panty Harnesses are not great for:

hard thrusting
big toys

7. A Word to Men With ED

(You’re Not Alone, Buddy — Not Even Close)

Here’s the real stats: Over 30 million men in the U.S. have erectile dysfunction. That’s roughly 1 in 3.
If ED were a Marvel franchise, it would have sequels.

So let’s cut the shame:
This is common.
This is normal.
You can work with this..
And you are not the only guy Googling “why won’t my junk cooperate.”

Now — the truth your friends won’t tell you:

Penetration Isn’t Everything

Look, your penis isn't the end-all. If your equipment isn’t clocking in today, that doesn’t mean sex is canceled.
You’ve still got:

your hands
your tongue
your mouth
your creativity
your curiosity

There are a thousand ways to please your partner that have nothing to do with your dick saluting on command.

But if you want to thrust — if you miss that feeling, that rhythm, that confidence — hollow strap-ons are the best tool on the field.

Hollow Strap-Ons: The Performance Assist That Doesn’t Judge You

Think of these as the teammate who shows up when your star player needs a break.

How they work is beautifully simple:

Step 1: Put your penis inside the internal hollow core.
Think “put it in the hole,” which — congrats — you’ve been training for your entire life.

Step 2: Tighten the harness straps.
Not too tight, just secure.

Step 3: Boom. You’re ready.
It stays hard. It stays steady. It stays ready for as long as you two want.

“Why Are These Things So Big?”

We hear this every day — so let’s clear it up.

A hollow dildo has:

• An inner cylinder: firm on the inside so it stays open for the average penis.
• A soft outer layer: silicone, TPE, or a realistic skin-like coating.
• Multiple layers = more thickness.
It’s not a “porn star size flex.”
It’s structural engineering.

If it were thin, it would collapse.
If it collapses, it wouldn’t work.
And if it doesn’t work… well, that defeats the purpose.

“But Will I Feel Anything?”

Short answer: nope.
Long answer: still no.

That’s the tradeoff.
You won’t feel internal stimulation — but you will feel:

your partner losing their mind
your own confidence coming back online
the rhythm and connection you’ve been missing
the freedom of knowing you can last as long as they want
the satisfaction of giving your partner a memorable night

Your dick might not get the happy ending…
but it will get the pride of a job well done.

8. For Trans & Nonbinary Players

Strap-ons aren’t “representation.” They’re gender euphoria with a harness on.

Some folks want a realistic dildo because it feels affirming.
Some want non-representational shapes, because sometimes realism is a dysphoria jump-scare.
Some want to top. Some want to bottom. Some want to switch mid-stroke because gender is a playlist, not a fixed setting.

Everybody’s different, and that’s okay.
But what’s with every FTM guy picking the name Tyler? (Is this a nod to Fight Club?) Babe, you can choose any name.

Here's what matters most:

• Pick the toy that aligns with your internal vibe.
Realistic? Abstract? Silicone alien tentacle?
If your brain goes “oh THAT’S me,” that’s the right one.

• Harness fit is gendered (kinda).
AFAB masc players often like jock-style stability.
AMAB femmes may prefer lingerie harnesses or softer silhouettes.
ACAB — please leave your body cams on (for full transparency.)
NB babes? Choose chaos. Always chaos.

• Dysphoria is real — but so is pleasure.
Use positions, toys, and dynamics that keep you focused on what feels right.

• Topping confidence isn’t anatomy. It’s practice.
Nobody is born knowing how to thrust.
Everyone learns — and you’ll look dang hot doing it.

Strap-ons aren’t about proving a gender.
They’re about enjoying the one you’ve built.

⭐ OKAY — NOW LET’S SHOP

Your Curated Strap-On Starter Pack (Tabu Approved)

1. Beginner Strap-On Kits

The New Cummers Strap-On Kit
Tiny. Adorable. Unintimidating. Kind of silly. (Like your Ex.)
Perfect for the “my boyfriend is scared of pegging” crew.
Butt training wheels.

2. Real-Feel Dildo Kits (For Maximum Realism)

Vac-U-Lock Dual Density Remote Strap-On Set
Ultra-realistic. Versatile. Heavy-duty.
Vac-U-Lock = endless attachment options.
Great for vaginal or anal play across genders.

3. Budget-Friendly Kits

ROMP Piccolo Pegging Kit
Colorful. Approachable. Millennial-wallet friendly.
Trendy striped dildo screams, “I know where your prostate lives.”

4. Single Strap-On Harnesses

Strap-On Me Curious Leatherette Harness
Metallic. Sleek. Gorgeous. Sexy AF.

Divine Diva Plus-Size Harness
Super supportive. Super stable. Super comfortable.
Expands up to an 82" waist.

5. Strap-On Friendly Dildos

Love to Love Dildolls
Fun, artsy, non-realistic silicone.
A queer crowd staple.

Slipskin Curvy Pressure-Sensitive Dildo
Hyper-realistic without the uncanny valley.
Pressure-reactive softness = chef’s kiss.

6. Hollow Strap-Ons (ED Friendly)

Elite Hollow Silicone Strap-On
Great silicone.
Multiple sizes.
Two colors.
A consistent bestseller for ED support.

🎓 Final Lesson: Strap-On Confidence Isn’t Born — It’s Learned

You don’t need a certain orientation.
You don’t need a certain gender.
You don’t need a specific dynamic.

You need:

curiosity
communication
a solid harness
the right dildo
and the willingness to laugh, adjust, and get better

Strap-ons aren’t about dominance, gender, or proving anything.
They’re about pleasure — shared, mutual, joyful pleasure — in a new configuration.

And babe?

You're already nailing it.