Adult Sex Toy Advice For Couples

If you and your partner are curious about spicing things up, raid your own toy drawer first. No need to shop—your current collection is begging for an encore performance. Here’s how to sneak them into your shared playtime.

They come in every size, shape, and shade under the sun. Some are no-frills plastic gizmos that get the job done; others are high-end objets d’art you could probably pass off as modern sculpture in your living room. Yes, we’re talking sex toys, people. And if you’re reading this, chances are you’ve got at least one rattling around in your nightstand—or you should.

Once upon a time, you had to sneak into a sketchy shop or flip to the back of an adult magazine to find these little miracles. Now? They’re everywhere, in more flavors than an ice cream parlor. Luxury brands like We-Vibe and Jimmyjane have even managed to turn vibrators into status symbols. (Somewhere out there, Beyoncé probably has a gold-plated rabbit nestled in her Birkin—and honestly, respect.) According to Chicago’s Berman Center, nearly half of all adult women are already in on the action.

So you’d think couples everywhere must be buzzing happily ever after, right? Not exactly. Plenty of women own toys but feel awkward whipping them out in front of a partner. Some even feel guilty, thanks to that dusty old myth that toys are for the lonely and single. Spoiler: they’re not.

On the flip side, lots of men like the idea but clam up when it’s time to ask if they can play too. Cue the self-consciousness. If that sounds familiar, take a breath, unclench, and get over it. Sex toys are designed for fun, not shame. And newsflash: they’re made for sharing—didn’t kindergarten already drill that into us?

Bringing toys into couple play doesn’t just crank up the physical intensity (though, yes, it very much does that). It also demands a level of trust, communication, and vulnerability that can bleed beautifully into the rest of your relationship. Basically, it’s foreplay and couples therapy wrapped in silicone.

So now that we’ve handled the why, let’s get to the how. Below you’ll find a tour of some greatest hits from the toy box, plus a few clever ways to turn them from solo accessories into two-player gear. Lovers, start your engines.

(Gay and Lesbian couples- this article is primarily directed towards our hetero friends, so clutch your pearls and play along. We’ll have more for you to enjoy later.)

Classic Vibrators – “Ol’ Faithful”

This basic, cylindrical style of vibrator is what most people think of when they hear the word “sex toy.” With their round tips and smooth shafts, they can be inserted for vaginal stimulation or rubbed against the clit and labia. These vibes are a great opportunity for her to explore a little exhibitionism because most men LOVE watching a woman masturbate. Not only will it give him a great visual “how-to” on how she likes to climax, but it can also be a huge turn-on for her.

Now here’s an important pubic service announcement: In the heat of the moment, one of you might be tempted to slip one of these little bad boys into his or her backdoor – but just say no! Unless your vibrator is specifically designed for anal sex (with a wide safety base), it can easily disappear into the rectum and turn your sensual evening into a trip to the ER.

We’re sure you’ll laugh about it later, but it won’t be a story you’ll want to tell when you gather ’round the grandkids.

Small Hand-Held Vibrators – “Girl’s Best Friend”

Classic external vibes like the Pocket Rocket have long been a popular way for women to get their kicks. If a Le Wand Massager is considered the “Ferrari” of sex toys, these mini vibrators would be more like the “bicycle with training wheels.” Small, cute, cordless, and inconspicuous, these vibes can easily be slipped between a couple during sex to target her clit.

And, because of their discreet, portable nature, they can be slipped into her purse or his pocket for those last-minute quickies. He can apply a vibrator to her clit while licking her vaginal opening and perineum (otherwise known as the “taint), and she can apply the vibrator to his scrotum while she gives that good, good oral lovin’.

We should also point out that while most men find vibration pleasant they just don’t enjoy it in the same way that women do. That is, unless we’re talking prostate play (but more on that later.)

Larger Wand-Style Vibrators – “The Clit Whisperer”

All about the power, products like the Magic Wand and the Miracle Massager are a godsend for vibration-hungry clits and women who have difficulty reaching orgasm. They can also build a guy’s confidence in bed because wands are pretty fool-proof when it comes to partner play.

With their larger, rounded heads and deep, penetrating vibrations, there’s no worries about “finding the right spot.” After her 3rd toe-curling orgasm, that magic wand will make him feel like an all-powerful sex wizard. For her, these vibes work wonderfully during sex when held against the pubic bone in the cowgirl position.

Or, she can lay a wand on a couple of pillows and grind her hips against it when he’s penetrating her doggy-style. Can you say “simultaneous orgasm?”

Vibrating Cock Rings – “Half Man – Half Machine."

Guys, have you ever looked at your girlfriend’s vibrator and thought, “Why can’t my penis do that?” It can.

Here’s how a Vibrating Cock Ring works: A stretchy cock ring slides over the penis, while an attached mini vibrator vibrates her clit during sex. Because of their relatively small size, vibrating cock rings won’t deliver as much vibration power as a standard-size vibrator, but they’re still a great way to enhance intercourse.

Anal Vibrators – “The Journey to Uranus”

Great for both men and women, vibrating beads and probes can deliver completely different (and amazing) sensations that can be enjoyed as foreplay or the main course. Vibrating plugs can be inserted into the anus and then left in during sex or masturbation for added stimulation and more intense orgasms.

And, taking the time to explore his prostate (the male g-spot) can be a great way for her to focus on him. We’re all so “phallocentric” that we often forget that men have more than one pleasure zone! The prostate is one male hot spot that usually slips under the radar, but it’s a surefire way to provide him with an earth-shaking, full-body orgasm (not unlike a G-Spot orgasm for her.) Speaking of which..

G-Spot Vibrators – “Make it Rain”

The clit isn’t the only game in she-town. In the pantheon of female pleasure, the G-Spot is a little like the Holy Grail – mysterious but hugely rewarding. One of the best ways to target this area is with a G-Spot vibrator. The combination of pressure from their curved tips and fast, rhythmic vibrations can trigger G-Spot orgasms and (if you’re lucky) female ejaculation..colloquially known as “squirting.”

For men, mastering the G can require time, sensitivity, and a whole lot of patience. Want to know more? Check out our Female Ejaculation Guide, grab a G-Spot vibrator, and proceed to impress the hell out of her with your newfound carnal knowledge.

Wearable Couple’s Vibrators – “Look Mommy, No hands!”

U-Shaped vibrators like We-Vibe's Chorus are designed to stimulate a woman’s body inside and out during solo play or during P-in-V sex. So how does it feel to him? Well, his penis and the vibrator will definitely get to know each other since they’ll both be inhabiting the same space, but when it comes to wearable vibrators like these, the focus is more on her G-Spot and clitoris. Most men find the vibration uniquely pleasurable - just not necessarily orgasmic.

Remote-Control Vibrators – “Love from a Distance”

Whether you’re using an insertable bullet or vibrating panties, these remotely-controlled sex toys are bound to inspire all kinds of naughty shenanigans. Remember the restaurant scene with Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler in “The Ugly Truth”? Judging by its forgettable ratings, probably not. But it did illustrate the explosive scenarios that can happen when a woman wears a remote-controlled vibrator in public.

Intrigued by the idea of locked and loaded panties? Slip on a pair, hand him the remote, and see what kind of trouble you can get into!

Dildos – “The Ins-And-Outs”

What’s the difference between a dildo and a vibrator? Simple! One vibrates and one doesn’t. Though both can be used for penetration, vibrators are electronically-powered while dildos are “people-powered.” Additionally, many dildos are realistically shaped like a man’s phallus. While some men might see a realistic dildo as unwelcome “competition” in the bedroom, many guys are turned on by seeing their lover penetrated by a big, realistic cock (other than their own).

Think of that dildo as a third partner, without the awkward post-coital small talk. That said, dildos are generally based on the concept that all women can climax from penetration. Fact: Not every vagina magically erupts with pleasure immediately upon insertion. If only life were so simple. While some lucky women can come from vaginal penetration alone, most need a little clitoral stimulation to achieve the O-Face.

If she likes penetration but requires clit stimulation to orgasm, couples can partner a dildo with an external vibrator. He can drive the dildo while she handles the clit business. Sex is all about teamwork! If your dildo has balls or a flange base, you can also use it for butt-play. (Just cover it with a condom before you share it.)

Adult Games – “Play together, Slay Together”

Think of sex games like Why Not?, The Monogamy Game, or You & Me as relationship cheat codes: they nudge you into conversations, dares, and scenarios you might be too shy (or too stubborn) to bring up otherwise. It’s not about winning—it’s about finding new ways to play together.

They’re more romantically sexy than outright sexual, which makes them ideal for easing into deeper intimacy. Sure, hardcore kinksters may roll their eyes and call these games tame—but honestly, they could stand to loosen up the leather restraints and have a laugh once in a while.

Nipple Toys – “Perk up your Foreplay.”

Nipple play is usually assumed to be the domain of women, but guess what? Men have nipples that like to be stimulated, too! Male or female, if you enjoy the sensation of having your nipples squeezed, slapped, nibbled, or pinched, clamps are a great option for hands-free nipple play. For those who are more about pleasure than pain, there are also Nipple Suckers. These create strong, consistent suction – minus the pinch.

A hint: Before you jump into a game of titty bingo, try to take your nipple play slowly. Gradually build the intensity to match the tempo of your foreplay because the closer to orgasm you are, the more sensation your nipples can take.

Strap-On Dildos – “Get your Peg On.”

Strap-On dildos let women get in the driver’s seat. Apart from the obvious thrill of role reversal, female-on-male strap-on sex is also a great way to stimulate his prostate. Alternatively, HE can wear a strap-on when he wants to see what it’s like to sport a bigger cock or when problems like ED make it difficult to perform.

If she’s open to double penetration, some male strap-ons leave the penis and balls free so he can penetrate her vagina and ass with his cock and dildo simultaneously.

Sex Furniture – “Creative Sex Terrain”

You don’t need to bend like a Cirque du Soleil performer to enjoy adventurous positions. Enter: sex cushions, wedges, ramps, and mounts—the unsung heroes of comfort and creativity.

These clever props aren’t about turning you into a gymnast; they’re about making new angles easy, painless, and—most importantly—fun. A little extra lift here, a supportive incline there, and suddenly you’re discovering positions that feel amazing without risking a trip to the chiropractor. Think of them as architectural foreplay: building better structures for even better pleasure.

Connection, Upgraded:

At the end of the day, intimacy should feel exciting, curious, and uniquely yours. Whether you’re rolling dice in a cheeky bedroom game, melting into a candlelit massage, or exploring new angles with a supportive wedge, the point isn’t perfection—it’s connection. Adult sex toys aren’t a replacement for your bond; they’re amplifiers, enhancers, and sometimes just the spark that reminds you how much fun your partner can be. So raid that drawer, unbox the possibilities, and remember: playtime isn’t just for kids.

"Use sex toys to amp up arousal and to explore diverse sensations on all areas of your body. Don’t limit your sexuality and pleasure to the few sensations a mouth, tongue, hand, or orifice can provide”

- Dr. Chris Donaghue

Oct 20th 2022 C. Ressi

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