Tabu Sex Glossary


Most people love talking about sex but conversations about intimacy aren't always so easy. This A-Z list of Sex Toys, Gender Terms, Slang, BDSM, Poly and Kink Definitions will help you navigate the minefield of current sex terminology.


ABC Sex: Traditional sex for Normies.

Abundant Love: A poly concept that a person can love more than one person at a time.

A-Frame: A type of BDSM sex furniture consisting of an upright triangle that a person can be bound to.

Aftercare: The time, attention and communication given to partners to “recover” after an intense BDSM scene.

Ally: A heterosexual and/or cisgender person who supports equal civil rights, gender equality, and LGBT social movements.

Alpha Sub: In the BDSM community, when a Dominant has multiple Subs, the “Alpha Sub” is given the most power or respect.

Anal Beads: A string of beads of varying sizes that is inserted into the rectum to intensify orgasm.

Anorgasmia: The Inability to have an orgasm or difficulty in having an orgasm.

Anal Training: Preparing and training the anus to become accustomed to anal sex.

Analingus: Sexual activities that involve licking or kissing another person’s anus.

Aromantic: A person who doesn’t experience emotional or romantic attraction for other people. (Not to be confused with Asexuality, which refers to sexual attraction.)

Asexual: An asexual is someone who does not feel a sexual attraction toward anyone of any gender.

A-Spot: Also known as “The Female Prostate” The Anterior Fornix Erogenous zone is a sensitive area found deep inside the vagina between the cervix and the bladder. It can also be stimulated through deep penetration, toys or anal sex.

Ball Gag: A BDSM toy consisting of a ball attached to a head strap designed to hold the submissive partner’s mouth open.

Ball Stretcher: A sex toy that is looped around a man’s scrotum in order to push the testicles away from the body.

Bandage Scissors: A type of safety scissors used in BDSM scenes to remove a person from bondage quickly.

Ben Wa Balls: Small, weighted balls used to strengthen vaginal and pelvic floor muscles.

BDSM: An acronym for “Bondage, Discipline, Dominance and Submission.”

BDE: Big Dick Energy.

Bicurious: Refers to people who are interested in having a same-gender sexual experience without necessarily labeling their orientation as Bisexual.

Bigender: Someone who identifies as both genders (Unlike a Genderfluid person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender.)

Binder: A chest binding device used by Transmen to flatten the breast tissue for a more masculine-appearing look.

BiPoly: Someone who identifies as both BiSexual and Polyamorous.

Black Sheet Party: A BDSM orgy.

Boi: LGTBQ slang that refers to a boyish gay guy or a biological female with a youthful male presentation.

Bondage: A practice involving restraining a person with ropes, cuffs, chains or other implements.

Bondage Bunny: A person who enjoys being restrained.

Boot Boy: A male submissive.

Bottom: In the BDSM lexicon, a Bottom is a person who receives discipline. Unlike a Submissive, the Bottom does not give up authority and may control or direct the scenario “from the bottom.”

Bottom Surgery: A general term for a sex reassignment surgery performed on a person’s lower half (genitals.)

Branding: A type of permanent body modification used in the BDSM community to “mark” a submissive.

Brat: BDSM slang for a sub who refuses to obey in order to provoke a Dom.

Breeder: Heterosexual.

Bukkake: Originally a popular Japanese porn genre, the activity involves a group of men masturbating and ejaculating over a single woman.

Bullet Vibe: A small, egg-shaped toy that can be used as both a vaginal or clitoral vibrator.

Butch: A woman who embodies or identifies with a traditionally masculine gender role.

Butt Plug: An anal dildo with a wide base that prevents it from being lost in the rectum.

Catherine Wheel: Bondage furniture consisting of an upright wheel that a person can be bound to.

Cat O Nine Tails: A type of flogger with a firm handle affixed to nine thin leather lashes.

Chastity Belt: Used in BDSM play for orgasm control.

Cisgender: People who identify as the sex they were assigned at birth. (Also know as “Cis.”)

Clam Jam: The female equivalent of the Cock Block.

Clitoral Vibrators: Up to 80% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to climax, making clitoral vibrators a go-to for female masturbation.

Cluster Marriage: A Poly relationship where two or more married couples cohabitate and exchange partners.

Cock Ring: A ring worn at the base of the penis, to slow the flow of blood from the erect penile tissue, creating a harder erection for a much longer period of time.

Coitus: “Penis In Vagina” sex.

Couples Toys:  Toys that are suitable for partner play. Including vibrating Cock Rings, Couple’s Vibrators like the We-Vibe, Double Dildos, Strap-On Toys and more.

Cell Popping: In the BDSM community cell popping is a form of body modification or temporary branding using a hot probe to create a pattern of small burns.

CBT: You may know it as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but in BDSM lexicon it means “Cock & Ball Torture.”

CHDW: A derisive BDSM acronym for “Clueless Horny Dom Wannabe.”

Closeted: LGBT people who have not disclosed their sexual orientation.

Collared: A BDSM term for having made a formal commitment to a Dominant partner.

Compersion: Also known as “Frubble.” A poly term for the empathetic state of happiness you experience when seeing your partner with another.

Condom Contract: A formal agreement within a Polyamorous relationship to confine exchange of bodily fluids and barrier-free sexual contact to the people in that relationship, each of whom has previously been screened for STD’s.

Consent: Affirmative permission to engage in a particular sexual activity.

Contract: in BDSM communities, a Contract is a mutually negotiated agreement between a Dominant and Submissive to define the relationship with what is or isn’t acceptable.

Cowboy: A poly name for a man who attempts to lure a woman away from a Polyamorous relationship with the intention of bringing her into a monogamous relationship.

Cross-dresser: A man who enjoys dressing in women’s clothing. Unlike Transgender people, Cross-Dressers don’t want to permanently change their sex and can be happy with the gender identity assigned to them at birth.

Cuddle Party: Also known as a Cuddle Puddle, a gathering that encourages consensual physical affection such as hugging and massage without sexual stimulation.

Cuckolding: The word “Cuckold” originally meant the unlucky husband of an adulterous wife. In modern fetish slang, a Cuck is a man who enjoys watching his wife have sex with other men

Cunnilingus: Oral stimulation of the female genitals.

Cupping: A type of alternative therapy where cups are placed on the skin for a few minutes to create suction. It has been co-opted by the BDSM community for use in sensation play.

Delay Spray: Delay sprays contain a small amount of topical anesthetic to desensitize the skin around the head of the penis. This helps delay orgasm and prevent premature ejaculation.

Demisexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.

Dildo: A cylindrical, non-vibrating sex toy designed for vaginal or anal penetration.

Docking: The insertion of one man’s penis into another man’s foreskin. (Circumcised men can achieve similar sensations by sharing a penis sleeve.)

Dogging: In Britain, dogging refers to the voyeuristic practice of couples having sex in their cars in places where others can watch.

Dom: A Male dominant.

Domme: A Female Dominant, or Dominatrix.

Dongs: A dong is a realistically-shaped dildo with testicles.

Down Low: A Closeted male who identifies as heterosexual, but has sex with men in secret.

Drag King: A female performance artist who dresses in masculine clothing and adopts male gender stereotypes as part of an individual or group routine.

Drag Queen: A male performance artist who dresses in women’s clothing and adopts female gender stereotypes as part of an individual or group routine.

Dry Orgasm: When a man reaches climax but does not ejaculate any semen.

Dungeon Monitor: The person charged with ensuring that all participants play safely during BDSM scenes.

Edge Play: Risky sexual activity that challenges the “Safe, Sane and Consensual” ethics of BDSM.

Edging: Orgasm control play that involves delaying and repeating stimulation to bring a person to the verge of orgasm repeatedly.

Eggplant Emoji: Sexting slang for "Penis."

Electrosex: A type of kink that involves the use of electrical currents to create stimulation.

Emotional play: A risky type of psychological BDSM play designed to illicit a emotional response from a submissive player.

Enemas: Enemas are often used as a way to cleanse and prepare for anal sex. They are also a popular form of erotic stimulation used in fetish scenarios and medical role play.

Ethical Slut: Written in 1997 by Janet Hardy, this iconic guide to open relationships is still regarded as the Bible of Polyamory.

Exhibitionists: People who derive pleasure from exposing themselves sexually to other people in public places.

Felching: The action of sucking or eating semen out of someone’s anus.

Fellatio: Oral stimulation of the penis, also known as a Blow Job.

Female Ejaculation: Also known as Squirting, involves the release of fluid out of the urethra during intense sexual excitement or orgasm.

Femdom: A BDSM relationship in which the dominant partner is female.

Femme: A descriptor for a queer person who presents and acts in a traditionally feminine manner.

Figging: The practice of placing a piece of fresh ginger root into the anus or vagina to intensify orgasm.

Finger Vibrators: Popular with sex toy beginners, these small hand-held vibrators are designed to make clitoral stimulation more exciting.

Fisting: A sexual practice in which a partner inserts their hand into another partner’s anus or vagina.

Fluid: A person who’s sexual preferences are flexible and have the capability to change.

Forced Orgasms: A type of kink in which a person consents to be forced to orgasm despite their attempts to delay climax.

Free Agent: A Polyamorous person who doesn’t integrate their different relationships, treating each one as a separate entity.

Fucking Machine: A mechanical device designed to provide repetitive penetration that simulates penetrative sex.

Furries: A subculture devoted to dressing up in furry anthropomorphic animal costumes. (Not all Furry Folk relate the practice to sex.)

Gates Of Hell: A male chastity toy consisting of a series of cock rings attached to a strap.

Genderqueer: An umbrella term for nonbinary people who see themselves as outside of or in between the gender boxes.

Glass Sex Toys: Generally made from Pyrex or Borosilicate material, Glass Toys are beautiful, simple to clean and excellent for temperature play.

G-Spot: The G or Grafenburg spot is an erogenous zone 1-2 inches inside the upper wall of the vagina. Orgasms generated by G-spot stimulation create more of a broad, whole-body experience than clitoral orgasms.

G-Spot Vibrator: These vibrators feature a curved tip that makes the “Come Hither” motion needed for G-Spot stimulation more simpler and more effective.

Golden Shower: The practice of urinating on another person for sexual pleasure.

Gor: A specific type of BDSM social structure that centers around female submission and male superiority (Adapted from the Gor Science Fiction series.)

Gynarchy: A social hierarchy dominated by Women.

Hard Limit: Something that you will not do under any circumstance during a BDSM scene.

Half-Night Stand: Just like a One-Night Stand, but with no Sleep-Over.

Heteronormativity: The belief that heterosexuality is the default orientation.

Hetty: Gay slang for a heterosexual.

Hitachi Magic Wand: One of the best-selling vibrators for over 30 years, this iconic sex toy is still one of the most powerful products on the market.

Hot Wife: In the Swinging community, a Hot Wife is a married woman who takes male lovers outside the marriage.

Impact Play: The act of whipping, spanking or striking another person during a BDSM scene.

Incel: A term that developed on Reddit to describe men who are “involuntarily celibate.” The moniker has since been co-opted by an online subculture devoted to male supremacy.

Intersex: A general term used for a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.

Jelquing: An exercise that some men use to try to increase the size of their penis, usually by manual stretching partnered with penis pumping.

Kegel Exercise: Pelvic Floor Exercises are used by women to help bladder control and improve sexual function.

Key Club: A Swinger’s club.

Key Party: A couple’s swapping party or “Sex Roulette” made popular in the 1960’s. During a Key Party, a male partner deposits their car keys in a bowl as they arrive. As each of the guests leave, a female partner chooses a random set of keys in the bowl and goes home with that male partner.

Lipstick Lesbian: A Lesbian whose appearance and behavior identify as traditionally feminine.

Lover-In-Law: In Polyamorous relationships, it means the “Metamour” or “Partner of one’s Partner.”

Lubricant: Whether for vaginal or anal sex, personal lubricants make sex easier and more enjoyable for everyone.

Massager: A somewhat antiquated word for “Vibrator.”

Ménage à Trois: A sexual encounter involving three people. (Also called a Threesome.)

Metamour: A Poly name for someone who is your partner's partner, but with whom you have no romantic relationship.

Moped: A derisive nickname for a person that you would be willing to have sex with but not be seen with. (Referencing the idea that mopeds are embarrassing but fun to ride.)

Muffing: A way to finger a Trans woman by way of the inguinal canals.

Munch: An informal BDSM gathering.

Mx.: An alternative to “Mr., Ms., or Mrs.” that is gender neutral.

Netflix And Chill: A euphemism for “Let’s stay at home and have sex.”

Nipple Clamps: A sex toy that creates sexual stimulation by pinching or constricting the nipples.

New Relationship Energy (NRE): A term used in polyamorous communities to describe the elated “Honeymoon” phase of connecting with someone new.

Open Relationship: A relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others.

Outercourse: Sexual activity that doesn’t include penetration.

P-Spot: The Male Prostate.

Pain Slut: A person who derives sexual pleasure from experiencing pain.

Pansexual: Someone who is attracted to people regardless of gender.

Pearl Necklace: Slang for a man ejaculating on a woman’s neck and breasts.

Pegging: A practice in which a woman anally penetrates a man with a Strap-On Dildo.

Penis Plug: A urethral toy designed for penis stimulation or ejaculation-delay during BDSM activities.

Penis Pump: A vacuum suction device designed to help men maintain erection and treat erectile dysfunction.

Penis Sleeve: Also known as a penis extension, sleeves are worn by men to increase length and girth.

Pivot: In a Polyamorous relationship, the person who is romantically involved with two people that have no romantic connection with each other is known as the Pivot or “Hinge Partner.”

Play Party: A sex party for Swingers, also known as “Key Party.”

Polyamory/Poly: A form of consensual non-monogamy with emotionally intimate relationships among more than two people that can also be sexual and/or romantic.

Polyfidelity: A democratic form of non-monogamy where all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual activity to only other members of the group.

Polywog: A child in a Polyamorous household or community.

Pony or Puppy Play: A fetish activity in which the submissive partner takes on the role of a pony or puppy.

Pornocchio: A person who brags about their unlikely sexual escapades.

Power Exchange: In BDSM, a Power Exchange refers to the level of submission one person offers in exchange for another person’s dominance.

PPA: Short for "prosthetic penis attachment." A hollow strap-on for men, generally used for ED or size play.

Primary, Secondary: In non-egalitarian Poly relationships, when a “Primary” couple consciously and deliberately creates a set of rules whereby any additional partners are Secondary or “Tertiary.”

Prodomme: A paid female Domme or Dominatrix.

Prostate Milking: A type of internal prostate massage that involves stimulating the P-Spot with a finger or a specialized prostate toy.

Pussy Pump: A vacuum device that makes the clit and vulva swollen and more sensitive to stimulation.

Quad: A Poly relationship with exactly four people.

Queefing: An audible noise that occurs when air trapped in the vagina is released after sex.

Queening: Face Sitting.

QTPOC: Stands for Queer and Trans People of Color.

Rabbit Vibrators: An umbrella term for a rotating vibrator with a clitoral stimulator attached to the shaft.

Remote Control Vibrators: A popular sex toy for couples, remote control vibrators can be operated from afar for long-distance sex or discreet public play.

Rigger: In the BDSM community a Rigger is someone who specializes in rope bondage or tying up others.

Role Play: A sexual activity where a person assumes the role of someone or something different.

Roman Shower: Slang for vomiting on a sexual partner.

Safe, Sane & Consensual: A mantra and common principle that guides relationships and activities in the BDSM community.

Safe word: A previously agreed upon word or phrase that means “STOP” during a BDSM scene.

Sapiosexual: A person who’s sexual attraction is primarily based on intelligence.

Saturday Night Lesbian: A term for Lesbians who present as Heterosexual on the weekdays.

Scat Play: Sexual activity involving feces.

Scene: Also known as “Session”, a BDSM term for a specific activity or period of play time.

Scissoring: A sexual position in which a female couple intertwine their legs like a pair of scissors in order to grind their vulvas together.

Sexercism: Slang for quickly having sex with a new partner to get over a previous breakup.

Sex Interview: Having sex before getting to know someone in order to test out potential chemistry in bed.

Sissy Play: A type of fetish involving forced feminization by a dominant partner. (Sissy Men don’t necessarily want to pass as female.)

Shibari: The ancient art of Japanese Rope Bondage.

Skeet: Ejaculate.

Smash: Slang for “Have sex.”

Smegma: A sticky, white substance produced under the foreskin at the glans of the penis and clitoris.

Soft Limit: A BDSM scene boundary that’s more flexible or open to negotiation.

Soft Swinger: A person or couple who engages in some limited form of sexual activities at Swinging events, but usually stops at sexual intercourse.

Sounding: A type of fetish in which a long, thin object (like a catheter) is inserted into the urethra for stretching or dilation.

Squirting: Female ejaculation.

Silicone-based Lubricants: The longest-lasting lube, Silicone doesn’t dry out and rarely needs to be reapplied during sex. However, it is not compatible with silicone sex toys.

Squick: BDSM slang for sudden disgust or a negative response to a particular activity or person.

St. Andrew’s Cross: A type of BDSM furniture consisting of a large, X-Shaped cross to which a person can be bound.

Stealth: In LGBTQ communities, Stealth means a Trans Person who passes as Cisgender but keeps their gender history a secret.

Stealthing: A practice in which a man removes a condom during sex without his partner’s knowledge or consent.

Strap-On: A dildo held in place by a harness that can be used for penetrative vaginal, anal or oral sex or role play.

Stroker: A male masturbation sleeve.

Stud : Also known as “Butch”, most commonly used to indicate a Black/African-American and/or Latina Queer woman.

Swinging: A lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple. (Not be confused with Polyamory which focuses on romantic relationships as opposed to casual sex.)

Switch: In BDSM slang, refers to a person who can “switch” from Dominant to Submissive.

Swolly: A person who is both Polyamorous and a Swinger.

Sybian: A Fucking Machine consisting of a rideable saddle with a vibrating dildo attached to it.

Top Surgery: Sex reassignment surgery of the breasts (female-to-male) that may include bilateral mastectomy and male chest reconstruction.

Transsexual: A person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the one to which they were assigned at birth.

Transvestite: A Cross-Dresser (not to be confused with Transexual.)

Triad: A triad is a term for a relationship between three people.

Tribe: Refers to a set of people in a Poly relationship.

Truffle Butter: References the thick, brownish substance created during anal sex when fecal matter mixes with vaginal secretions.

24/7: In a 24/7 D/S relationship, the submissive partner surrenders total control to the dominant partner for an indefinite period of time.

Twitterbang: Having sex with someone with whom you’ve exchanged less than 140 words with.

Twue/TWoo Dominant: Derisive BDSM slang for a narcissistic dominant who expresses that his/her way of interacting is the one “true” way.

Uncut: Uncircumcised.

Unicorn: Difficult to spot in the wild, a Unicorn is highly sought-after single, bisexual female who enjoys playing with other couples.

Vanilla: A derogatory word used to describe conventional people or "Normies" who don’t practice kink.

Violet Wand: An Electrosex device that contains a high-voltage coil and glows violet purple when in use.

Voyeurism: A sexual practice that involves watching another person undress or engage in sexual behavior.

Water-Based Lubricants: Water-soluble lubricants that do not contain Silicone or Oil.

Water Sports: A type of sexual kink that involves urination or Golden Showers.

White Knight: Derisive BDSM slang for dominant men who "rescue" female subs from other Doms.

Wolf: Gay slang for a male who is neither twink nor bear but falls somewhere in between.

Zentai Suit: A full-body suit with a full hood designed for constrictive fetish play.

Ze / Zir: Gender Neutral pronouns that are preferred by some trans people instead of “He” or “She.”

"I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.”

— John Waters

Feb 15th 2024 C. Ressi

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