TABU SEX GLOSSARY
Most people love talking about sex but conversations about intimacy aren't always so easy. This A-Z list of Sex Toys, Gender Terms, Slang, BDSM, Poly and Kink Definitions will help you navigate the minefield of current sex terminology.
ABC Sex: Traditional sex for Normies.
Abundant Love: A poly concept that a person can love more than one person at a time.
A-Frame: A type of BDSM sex furniture consisting of an upright triangle that a person can be bound to.
Aftercare: The time, attention and communication given to partners to “recover” after an intense BDSM scene.
Ally: A heterosexual and/or cisgender person who supports equal civil rights, gender equality, and LGBT social movements.
Alpha Sub: In the BDSM community, when a Dominant has multiple Subs, the “Alpha Sub” is given the most power or respect.
Anal Beads: A string of beads of varying sizes that is inserted into the rectum to intensify orgasm.
Anorgasmia: The Inability to have an orgasm or difficulty in having an orgasm.
Anal Training: Preparing and training the anus to become accustomed to anal sex.
Analingus: Sexual activities that involve licking or kissing another person’s anus.
Aromantic: A person who doesn’t experience emotional or romantic attraction for other people. (Not to be confused with Asexuality, which refers to sexual attraction.)
Asexual: An asexual is someone who does not feel a sexual attraction toward anyone of any gender.
A-Spot: Also known as “The Female Prostate” The Anterior Fornix Erogenous zone is a sensitive area found deep inside the vagina between the cervix and the bladder. It can also be stimulated through deep penetration, toys or anal sex.
Ball Gag: A BDSM toy consisting of a ball attached to a head strap designed to hold the submissive partner’s mouth open.
Ball Stretcher: A sex toy that is looped around a man’s scrotum in order to push the testicles away from the body.
Bandage Scissors: A type of safety scissors used in BDSM scenes to remove a person from bondage quickly.
Ben Wa Balls: Small, weighted balls used to strengthen vaginal and pelvic floor muscles.
BDSM: An acronym for “Bondage, Discipline, Dominance and Submission.”
BDE: Big Dick Energy.
Bicurious: Refers to people who are interested in having a same-gender sexual experience without necessarily labeling their orientation as Bisexual.
Bigender: Someone who identifies as both genders (Unlike a Genderfluid person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender.)
Binder: A chest binding device used by Transmen to flatten the breast tissue for a more masculine-appearing look.
BiPoly: Someone who identifies as both BiSexual and Polyamorous.
Black Sheet Party: A BDSM orgy.
Boi: LGTBQ slang that refers to a boyish gay guy or a biological female with a youthful male presentation.
Bondage: A practice involving restraining a person with ropes, cuffs, chains or other implements.
Bondage Bunny: A person who enjoys being restrained.
Boot Boy: A male submissive.
Bottom: In the BDSM lexicon, a Bottom is a person who receives discipline. Unlike a Submissive, the Bottom does not give up authority and may control or direct the scenario “from the bottom.”
Bottom Surgery: A general term for a sex reassignment surgery performed on a person’s lower half (genitals.)
Branding: A type of permanent body modification used in the BDSM community to “mark” a submissive.
Brat: BDSM slang for a sub who refuses to obey in order to provoke a Dom.
Bukkake: Originally a popular Japanese porn genre, the activity involves a group of men masturbating and ejaculating over a single woman.
Bullet Vibe: A small, egg-shaped toy that can be used as both a vaginal or clitoral vibrator.
Butch: A woman who embodies or identifies with a traditionally masculine gender role.
Butt Plug: An anal dildo with a wide base that prevents it from being lost in the rectum.
Catherine Wheel: Bondage furniture consisting of an upright wheel that a person can be bound to.
Cat O Nine Tails: A type of flogger with a firm handle affixed to nine thin leather lashes.
Chastity Belt: Used in BDSM play for orgasm control.
Cisgender: People who identify as the sex they were assigned at birth. (Also know as “Cis.”)
Clam Jam: The female equivalent of the Cock Block.
Clitoral Vibrators: Up to 80% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to climax, making clitoral vibrators a go-to for female masturbation.
Cluster Marriage: A Poly relationship where two or more married couples cohabitate and exchange partners.
Cock Ring: A ring worn at the base of the penis, to slow the flow of blood from the erect penile tissue, creating a harder erection for a much longer period of time.
Coitus: “Penis In Vagina” sex.
Couples Toys: Toys that are suitable for partner play. Including vibrating Cock Rings, Couple’s Vibrators like the We-Vibe, Double Dildos, Strap-On Toys and more.
Cell Popping: In the BDSM community cell popping is a form of body modification or temporary branding using a hot probe to create a pattern of small burns.
CBT: You may know it as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but in BDSM lexicon it means “Cock & Ball Torture.”
CHDW: A derisive BDSM acronym for “Clueless Horny Dom Wannabe.”
Closeted: LGBT people who have not disclosed their sexual orientation.
Collared: A BDSM term for having made a formal commitment to a Dominant partner.
Compersion: Also known as “Frubble.” A poly term for the empathetic state of happiness you experience when seeing your partner with another.
Condom Contract: A formal agreement within a Polyamorous relationship to confine exchange of bodily fluids and barrier-free sexual contact to the people in that relationship, each of whom has previously been screened for STD’s.
Consent: Affirmative permission to engage in a particular sexual activity.
Contract: in BDSM communities, a Contract is a mutually negotiated agreement between a Dominant and Submissive to define the relationship with what is or isn’t acceptable.
Cowboy: A poly name for a man who attempts to lure a woman away from a Polyamorous relationship with the intention of bringing her into a monogamous relationship.
Cross-dresser: A man who enjoys dressing in women’s clothing. Unlike Transgender people, Cross-Dressers don’t want to permanently change their sex and can be happy with the gender identity assigned to them at birth.
Cuddle Party: Also known as a Cuddle Puddle, a gathering that encourages consensual physical affection such as hugging and massage without sexual stimulation.
Cuckolding: The word “Cuckold” originally meant the unlucky husband of an adulterous wife. In modern fetish slang, a Cuck is a man who actually enjoys watching his wife have sex with other men
Cunnilingus: Oral stimulation of the female genitals.
Cupping: A type of alternative therapy where cups are placed on the skin for a few minutes to create suction. It has been co-opted by the BDSM community for use in sensation play.
Delay Spray: Delay sprays contain a small amount of topical anesthetic to desensitize the skin around the head of the penis. This helps delay orgasm and prevent premature ejaculation.
Demisexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.
Dildo: A cylindrical, non-vibrating sex toy designed for vaginal or anal penetration.
Docking: The insertion of one man’s penis into another man’s foreskin. (Circumcised men can achieve similar sensations by sharing a penis sleeve.)
Dogging: In Britain, dogging refers to the voyeuristic practice of couples having sex in their cars in places where others can watch.
Dom: A Male dominant.
Domme: A Female Dominant, or Dominatrix.
Dongs: A dong is a realistically-shaped dildo with testicles.
Down Low: A Closeted male who identifies as heterosexual, but has sex with men in secret.
Drag King: A female performance artist who dresses in masculine clothing and adopts male gender stereotypes as part of an individual or group routine.
Drag Queen: A male performance artist who dresses in women’s clothing and adopts female gender stereotypes as part of an individual or group routine.
Dry Orgasm: When a man reaches climax but does not ejaculate any semen.
Dungeon Monitor: The person charged with ensuring that all participants play safely during BDSM scenes.
Edge Play:Risky sexual activity that challenges the “Safe, Sane and Consensual” ethics of BDSM.
Edging: Orgasm control play that involves delaying and repeating stimulation to bring a person to the verge of orgasm repeatedly.
Eggplant Emoji: Sexting slang for "Penis."
Electrosex: A type of kink that involves the use of electrical currents to create stimulation.
Emotional play: A risky type of psychological BDSM play designed to illicit a emotional response from a submissive player.
Enemas: Enemas are often used as a way to cleanse and prepare for anal sex. They are also a popular form of erotic stimulation used in fetish scenarios and medical role play.
Ethical Slut: Written in 1997 by Janet Hardy, this iconic guide to open relationships is still regarded as the Bible of Polyamory.
Exhibitionists: People who derive pleasure from exposing themselves sexually to other people in public places.
Felching: The action of sucking or eating semen out of someone’s anus.
Fellatio: Oral stimulation of the penis, also known as a Blow Job.
Female Ejaculation: Also known as Squirting, involves the release of fluid out of the urethra during intense sexual excitement or orgasm.
Femdom: A BDSM relationship in which the dominant partner is female.
Femme: A descriptor for a queer person who presents and acts in a traditionally feminine manner.
Figging: The practice of placing a piece of fresh ginger root into the anus or vagina to intensify orgasm.
Finger Vibrators: Popular with sex toy beginners, these small hand-held vibrators are designed to make clitoral stimulation more exciting.
Fisting: A sexual practice in which a partner inserts their hand into another partner’s anus or vagina.
Fluid: A person who’s sexual preferences are flexible and have the capability to change.
Forced Orgasms: A type of kink in which a person consents to be forced to orgasm despite their attempts to delay climax.
Free Agent: A Polyamorous person who doesn’t integrate their different relationships, treating each one as a separate entity.
Fucking Machine: A mechanical device designed to provide repetitive penetration that simulates penetrative sex.
Furries: A subculture devoted to dressing up in furry anthropomorphic animal costumes. (Not all Furry Folk relate the practice to sex.)
Gates Of Hell: A male chastity toy consisting of a series of cock rings attached to a strap.
Genderqueer: An umbrella term for nonbinary people who see themselves as outside of or in between the gender boxes.
Glass Sex Toys: Generally made from Pyrex or Borosilicate material, Glass Toys are beautiful, simple to clean and excellent for temperature play.
G-Spot: The G or Grafenburg spot is an erogenous zone 1-2 inches inside the upper wall of the vagina. Orgasms generated by G-spot stimulation create more of a broad, whole-body experience than clitoral orgasms.
G-Spot Vibrator: These vibrators feature a curved tip that makes the “Come Hither” motion needed for G-Spot stimulation more simpler and more effective.
Golden Shower: The practice of urinating on another person for sexual pleasure.
Gor: A specific type of BDSM social structure that centers around female submission and male superiority (Adapted from the Gor Science Fiction series.)
Gynarchy: A social hierarchy dominated by Women.
Hard Limit: Something that you will not do under any circumstance during a BDSM scene.
Half-Night Stand: Just like a One-Night Stand, but with no Sleep-Over.
Heteronormativity: The belief that heterosexuality is the default orientation.
Hetty: Gay slang for a heterosexual.
Hitachi Magic Wand: One of the best-selling vibrators for over 30 years, this iconic sex toy is still one of the most powerful products on the market.
Hot Wife: In the Swinging community, a Hot Wife is a married woman who takes male lovers outside the marriage.
Impact Play: The act of whipping, spanking or striking another person during a BDSM scene.
Incel: A term that developed on Reddit to describe men who are “involuntarily celibate.” The moniker has since been co-opted by an online subculture devoted to male supremacy.
Intersex: A general term used for a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.
Jelquing: An exercise that some men use to try to increase the size of their penis, usually by manual stretching partnered with penis pumping.
Kegel Exercise: Pelvic Floor Exercises are used by women to help bladder control and improve sexual function.
Key Club: A Swinger’s club.
Key Party: A couple’s swapping party or “Sex Roulette” made popular in the 1960’s. During a Key Party, a male partner deposits their car keys in a bowl as they arrive. As each of the guests leave, a female partner chooses a random set of keys in the bowl and goes home with that male partner.
Lipstick Lesbian: A Lesbian whose appearance and behavior identify as traditionally feminine.
Lover-In-Law: In Polyamorous relationships, it means the “Metamour” or “Partner of one’s Partner.”
Lubricant: Whether for vaginal or anal sex, personal lubricants make sex easier and more enjoyable for everyone.
Massager: A somewhat antiquated word for “Vibrator.”
Ménage à Trois: A sexual encounter involving three people. (Also called a Threesome.)
Metamour: A Poly name for someone who is your partner's partner, but with whom you have no romantic relationship.
Moped: A derisive nickname for a person that you would be willing to have sex with but not be seen with. (Referencing the idea that mopeds are embarrassing but fun to ride.)
Muffing: A way to finger a Trans woman by way of the inguinal canals.
Munch: An informal BDSM gathering.
Mx.: An alternative to “Mr., Ms., or Mrs.” that is gender neutral.
Netflix And Chill: A euphemism for “Let’s stay at home and have sex.”
Nipple Clamps: A sex toy that creates sexual stimulation by pinching or constricting the nipples.
New Relationship Energy (NRE): A term used in polyamorous communities to describe the elated “Honeymoon” phase of connecting with someone new.
Open Relationship: A relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others.
Outercourse: Sexual activity that doesn’t include penetration.
P-Spot: The Male Prostate.
Pain Slut: A person who derives sexual pleasure from experiencing pain.
Pansexual: Someone who is attracted to people regardless of gender.
Pearl Necklace: Slang for a man ejaculating on a woman’s neck and breasts.
Pegging: A practice in which a woman anally penetrates a man with a Strap-On Dildo.
Penis Plug: A urethral toy designed for penis stimulation or ejaculation-delay during BDSM activities.
Penis Pump: A vacuum suction device designed to help men maintain erection and treat erectile dysfunction.
Penis Sleeve: Also known as a penis extension, sleeves are worn by men to increase length and girth.
Pivot: In a Polyamorous relationship, the person who is romantically involved with two people that have no romantic connection with each other is known as the Pivot or “Hinge Partner.”
Play Party: A sex party for Swingers, also known as “Key Party.”
Polyamory/Poly: A form of consensual non-monogamy with emotionally intimate relationships among more than two people that can also be sexual and/or romantic.
Polyfidelity: A democratic form of non-monogamy where all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual activity to only other members of the group.
Polywog: A child in a Polyamorous household or community.
Pony or Puppy Play: A fetish activity in which the submissive partner takes on the role of a pony or puppy.
Pornocchio: A person who brags about their unlikely sexual escapades.
Power Exchange: In BDSM, a Power Exchange refers to the level of submission one person offers in exchange for another person’s dominance.
Primary, Secondary: In non-egalitarian Poly relationships, when a “Primary” couple consciously and deliberately creates a set of rules whereby any additional partners are Secondary or “Tertiary.”
Prodomme: A paid female Domme or Dominatrix.
Prostate Milking: A type of internal prostate massage that involves stimulating the P-Spot with a finger or a specialized prostate toy.
Pussy Pump: A vacuum device that makes the clit and vulva swollen and more sensitive to stimulation.
Quad: A Poly relationship with exactly four people.
Queefing: An audible noise that occurs when air trapped in the vagina is released after sex.
Queening: Face Sitting.
QTPOC: Stands for Queer and Trans People of Color.
Rabbit Vibrators: An umbrella term for a rotating vibrator with a clitoral stimulator attached to the shaft.
Remote Control Vibrators: A popular sex toy for couples, remote control vibrators can be operated from afar for long-distance sex or discreet public play.
Rigger: In the BDSM community a Rigger is someone who specializes in rope bondage or tying up others.
Role Play: A sexual activity where a person assumes the role of someone or something different.
Roman Shower: Slang for vomiting on a sexual partner.
Safe, Sane & Consensual: A mantra and common principle that guides relationships and activities in the BDSM community.
Safe word: A previously agreed upon word or phrase that means “STOP” during a BDSM scene.
Sapiosexual: A person who’s sexual attraction is primarily based on intelligence.
Saturday Night Lesbian: A term for Lesbians who present as Heterosexual on the weekdays.
Scat Play: Sexual activity involving feces.
Scene: Also known as “Session”, a BDSM term for a specific activity or period of play time.
Scissoring: A sexual position in which a female couple intertwine their legs like a pair of scissors in order to grind their vulvas together.
Sexercism: Slang for quickly having sex with a new partner to get over a previous breakup.
Sex Interview: Having sex before getting to know someone in order to test out potential chemistry in bed.
Sissy Play: A type of fetish involving forced feminization by a dominant partner. (Sissy Men don’t necessarily want to pass as female.)
Shibari: The ancient art of Japanese Rope Bondage.
Smash: Slang for “Have sex.”
Smegma: A sticky, white substance produced under the foreskin at the glans of the penis and clitoris.
Soft Limit: A BDSM scene boundary that’s more flexible or open to negotiation.
Soft Swinger: A person or couple who engages in some limited form of sexual activities at Swinging events, but usually stops at sexual intercourse.
Sounding: A type of fetish in which a long, thin object (catheter) is inserted into the urethra for stretching or dilation.
Squirting: Female ejaculation.
Silicone-based Lubricants: The longest-lasting lube, Silicone doesn’t dry out and rarely needs to be reapplied during sex. However, it is not compatible with silicone sex toys.
Squick: BDSM slang for sudden disgust or a negative response to a particular activity or person.
St. Andrew’s Cross: A type of BDSM furniture consisting of a large, X-Shaped cross to which a person can be bound.
Stealth: In LGBTQ communities, Stealth means a Trans Person who passes as Cisgender but keeps their gender history a secret.
Stealthing: A practice in which a man removes a condom during sex without his partner’s knowledge or consent.
Strap-On: A dildo held in place by a harness that can be used for penetrative vaginal, anal or oral sex or role play.
Stroker: A male masturbation sleeve.
Stud : Also known as “Butch”, most commonly used to indicate a Black/African-American and/or Latina Queer woman.
Swinging: A lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple. (Not be confused with Polyamory which focuses on romantic relationships as opposed to casual sex.)
Switch: In BDSM slang, refers to a person who can “switch” from Dominant to Submissive.
Swolly: A person who is both Polyamorous and a Swinger.
Sybian: A Fucking Machine consisting of a rideable saddle with a vibrating dildo attached to it.
Top Surgery: Sex reassignment surgery of the breasts (female-to-male) that may include bilateral mastectomy and male chest reconstruction.
Transsexual: A person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the one to which they were assigned at birth.
Transvestite: A Cross-Dresser (not to be confused with Transexual.)
Triad: A triad is a term for a relationship between three people.
Tribe: Refers to a set of people in a Poly relationship.
Truffle Butter: References the thick, brownish substance created during anal sex when fecal matter mixes with vaginal secretions.
24/7: In a 24/7 D/S relationship, the submissive partner surrenders total control to the dominant partner for an indefinite period of time.
Twitterbang: Having sex with someone with whom you’ve exchanged less than 140 words with.
Twue/TWoo Dominant: Derisive BDSM slang for a narcissistic dominant who expresses that his/her way of interacting is the one “true” way.
Unicorn: Difficult to spot in the wild, a Unicorn is highly sought-after single, bisexual female who enjoys playing with other couples.
Vanilla: A derogatory word used to describe conventional people or "Normies" who don’t practice kink.
Violet Wand: An Electrosex device that contains a high-voltage coil and glows violet purple when in use.
Voyeurism: A sexual practice that involves watching another person undress or engage in sexual behavior.
Water-Based Lubricants: Water-soluble lubricants that do not contain Silicone or Oil.
Water Sports: A type of sexual kink that involves urination or Golden Showers.
White Knight: Derisive BDSM slang for dominant men who "rescue" female subs from other Doms.
Wolf: Gay slang for a male who is neither twink nor bear but falls somewhere in between.
Zentai Suit: A full-body suit with a full hood designed for constrictive fetish play.
Ze / Zir: Gender Neutral pronouns that are preferred by some trans people instead of “He” or “She.”
"I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.”
— John Waters